I am falling.

I'm listening to this amazing new music! It's actually by an artist that came to our Inktank studio to get some identity/branding done. Mainly album artwork stuff, and then probably some website and promotional work later on. They're from LA, California and are a new pop/indie/alternative band named Sugarwaves. Their sound is so relaxing and mesmerizing. It's really beautiful <3 Totally listen to the song! (this is the band that my friend did that underwater photoshoot for, btw C: And listening to the music now, it totally makes me think of underwater and ethereal mermaids or something, haha)

So this weekend was a blast! The book fair was super fun, I found so much! It was also awesome to hang out afterwards like we did, going out to eat and walking around and stuff. I miss doing stuff like that, it brings me back to times when we had more time to do social things and hang out randomly. We need to do this again!

Anyway, I'm hoping to get started reading some of my books. I didn't get as many novels this go around since I got a lot last year that I haven't read yet o.o But I'm mainly excited about reading and looking through my reference books I bought the most :DDDD I always need more inspiration for design work and photography. I'm definitely planning on saving up for some underwater equipment and am going to branch into that awesomeness, hopefully by summertime. You guys should totally be my models!

So I decided to get on track with losing weight and staying healthy again. I kinda' fell off of it this whole month, but I'm going to make some changes/sacrifices so I can be healthier and lose some weight by convention season, and summer season. I wanna' feel good about myself, and look cute in a bathing suit ;D Haha

Here's a list of things I'm thinking of doing to start out with.

- Giving up Starbucks frappuchinos, or limit to ONE a week/every two weeks (only as a treat or gift to myself)
- Drink only light soda (Sprite, ginger ale), tea, fruit drinks or water, and if I drink dark soda, only ONCE a day.
- Drink MORE water. Get full recommended amount in daily.
- Work out somehow everyday.
- Positive thoughts on my self-esteem and encouragement.
- Weight loss/self-image Bible study.
- Eating out way less. Only eat out if I'm going to with friends/family.
- Cook healthier meals; stray away from Mac and Cheese, instant microwave dinners, or unhealthy snacks.
- Eat some sort of breakfast in the morning; it will start my metabolism up for the day
- Drink more tea! Benefits of healthier skin, hair, etc...
- Get more sleep. Quit staying up so late even if I don't need to.
- More "sports candy! Haha ;) Fruits and veggies and stuff, mainly (that was a Lazytown reference, lol)
- Go outside more, occupy m bored/downtime with stuff other than sedentary activities or snacking or sleeping.

That's all I can think of right now.
I'm excited to get started though!
I need to also start working out for Korra. I'm gonna' try to get more defined arms/shoulders by AKON. D: And abs of course. Just tone down/thin down in general so I can feel confident in cosplay. Gotta' shed off this winter weight I've gained. Gah!

It'd be awesome if you ladies helped hold me accountable >.< Thanks so much! Love you guys!

These tired eyes.

This week has just been one of "those" weeks. Just up and down I guess. Monday was crummy, Tuesday was great, today's just been dragging on forever. We had a huge test and I'm pretty sure I did awful. It's just so much information and we literally do not know what's on the test, we're not told, so we have to study everything; and even that may not do us any good, cause if we study the wrong stuff, we only get so much credit for writing it down in the bonus section. It's just stressful I guess. These big tests stress me out.

I've also just been feeling lonely. I can't wait to see you guys. Lara is always gone or with Cody, as usual. So I'm by myself a lot. And I'm giving Ethan space, so even talking to him I'm holding back on. So seeing him is very rare now, at least for a while. And if anything it's only on the weekends. The only people I see anymore are those in design, and that's it. And in general that's a very rushed, stressed atmosphere so it's not always the most uplifting, encouraging, fun kind of atmosphere I'd like to be around. Idk.

I also just feel like all my stuff is so bleh, average, boring, not spectacular. I mean, I'm surrounded by amazing designers and illustrators and I just feel like I fade into the back. I've also been so lax about working out and eating right cause I've been stressed and just lonely, I tend to go to food for comfort; I'm sure I've gained weight, so now I just feel ugly and fat. I really need to get on working out consistently and losing weight cause I hate feeling like this. It also doesn't help that I'm always struggling financially and sinking it feels like; paycheck to paycheck. I can never seem to keep enough in savings. I need to cut out a lot of stuff to really save up and keep from living paycheck to paycheck. Idk. I'll figure it out.

I hope tomorrow is better. Cause right now I'm just down and tired and I hate it. -sigh-

But this weekend will be amazing, I'm excited for the book fair :) I hope to find a lot of good stuff. Even though I shouldn't spend too much money; you can still find great stuff for great deals. I can't wait 'til payday next week; hopefully the check will be bigger, so I can put more back into savings >.<

The weather has been beautiful too. I can't wait for spring and just the fullness of it. The warmth, the flowers, the blue skies. Even a little spring thunderstorm, warm, with relaxing rain and rolling thunder sounds so nice right now.

Define yourself.

Mood: Tired, de-stressing..
Music: "Blow", Ke$ha



So that's my first ever stop motion animation! I didn't really have as much time with it as I would've liked but eh, I guess it's alright. I like a lot of the moments when you see Kairi walking or moving her arm. Even getting that other Barbie-doll-rip off to move was an accomplishment. A lot of Photoshopping out hands and stuff, haha. I think overall it took me about... 5-ish hours to make? Not enough time, but I'm pleased.

It's about defining yourself and not conforming to "social norms" or the ideals of beauty. That's why she passes by their offer of their designer bags, and is pleased looking at herself in the mirror just as she is. I hope the meaning is clear enough to my professor though -- she was concerned during the process that it would be too "abstract". I really wanted to do something you could take something away from though -- everyone else was doing cutesy, funny things, and they were great, just not like applicable really to anything. I want to clean this up and finish it out, make it longer, and maybe add some moving type and make it a video sponsoring the idea of not conforming, or being above the influence, or something. Idk. We'll see, haha

It was stressful though... our teacher did NOT teach us anything with this project. We've only learned basics of Flash, but nearly everything I've wanted to do I had to google it myself. It was annoying. I was breaking down during class, ugh I felt so embarrassed. We had classtime to work on it but it was due at the end -- I thought I'd allotted myself enough time but things started going wrong and I couldn't find a way out of it. It was a mess. One of my good friends in there helped keep me calm and helped me through it. Got it in on time, that's all that matters. I felt like an idiot for crying though. I also was cursing and stuff and getting overly frustrated *sigh* I hate how vulnerable I am to my emotions and how it causes me to react..

Anyway

I'm done with class, so I'm winding down in my apartment. I was going to work out tonight, but I think I'm just going to rest and draw, do something for myself. I'm gonna' then try to go to bed early tonight to get some sleeeeeeeep~ sounds so lovely, aaaah

I have a big test Wednesday and some smaller things due, but other than that, the "stress" of my week will be over. I can't wait 'til Saturday though, book fair! I probably won't spend that much this go around, but I hope to find some stuff. It's also just fun hanging out with you guys, seriously, it makes my week <3 And we can have an AKON meeting and such to get caught up on that.

Speaking of which, I've been working on cosplay! Here are some progress photos.


Ignore my derpy face here. xD But this is a full shot of all the progress so far, minus my wig. I forgot to bring that home from my house when I went by this weekend. x.x;



We found the perfect pattern for the vest, but it was made to be unisex and it's very boxy, especially since we used a large size, haha. We'll taper it in a lot more to make it more fitting. Otherwise, I look like I have NO figure or waist, lol.


Made my first hood! :'D I was proud, haha


The arm thingy ':D

Ethan's been such a great help with this cosplay. Working with vinyl is tricky; it doesn't fray really, but when you're sewing it you have to be very careful; and can't really make much mistake, cause it tears really easily. Almost like perforating the fabric, haha. I wanted to use vinyl though cause it gives that added dimension of texture and interest, as well as it looks very Advent Children-y XD

I"m suuuuuper stoked with the progress though. Gonna' work out some more to get in the shape I want to for it. Mainly in arms/shoulders and abs. ABBBSS D<

I'm also considering doing Korra for AKON.
BAAAAAH EPIC WIN.



YEAH, I seriously might do this. It'll be easy enough within the time frame. The only thing is there may be tons of other Korras there for all I know. XD BUT I DON'T CARE. CAUSE I WANNA' BE THE BEST. -determind-

I can use my natural hair, already have the contacts. Just gotta'... make everything. XD Just big pants, a fitted shirt, some accessories, and that jacket/hip thing. And I need ta' get me some uggs. I also want to make this and wear it enough before my hair is cut short; and I think it's prime hair-time for this one, lol.

I just love how strong her character is; and how she's like, built. Not super thin or dainty. I think my body shape matches her pretty accurately (she's got the broad shoulders, narrow back, etc...) I just feel really good about this one. >:D I wanna' do it, lol.

So yeah.. that's all I really got. Thanks for reading guys!

We should get jerseys, 'cause we make a good team.

Mood: Sleepy & thoughtful
Music: "Safe & Sound" - Taylor Swift; "The Story" - Brandy Carlisle
Reading: Rose & the Beast; Sailor Moon manga! <3

The past week has been amazing! Despite a weekend class, cold weather and feeling sleepy a lot, I had a really great week. :)

Ethan and I had our Valentine's Day date on Thursday, and I must say it was lovely! He picked me up, and then when we got to his house we popped in the heart shaped pizza and waited as it cooked. It smelt so good and I'd had my taste buds set on it <3 I gave him his present, and even though the wrapping seems extravagant it wasn't too much haha (it's all Hobby Lobby really had XD)






He loved it! :D I was very pleased with how it framed and turned out altogether. I love doing design work for presents; it's always so exciting to see their reactions <3

Then the pizza was ready! And Ethan had an adorable little table set up, and some sparkling cider sitting on the table with champagne glasses and candles. :D


It was supposed to be a "heart-shaped" pizza but eh, it didn't really look it, haha.





After all that we just lounged around, watched Star Wars Episode VI and then seperated early considering I had class the next day and he had to get up super early for work. All in all, it was a cute, lovely little evening, and I couldn't have asked for more. <3



TEE HEE. :B

AND THENNNNNN of course, as you ladies know, I had an amazing girl's night to see "Secret Tales of Arrietty" and it was SO GOOD! I loved it! Adorable, beautiful, stunning, as always, Miyazaki excels. I love my girls and our girl's nights too - we have the best of times! >:'D


SO EXCITED YOU DON'T EVEN KNOOWWWW---!!!



This is pretty much the best picture in life.


CRAP, that one sort of tied I guess. :>






LOVE MAH GIRLS <3333

Gaaah, at work today there was this DEMONIC CHILD, I swear, who was throwing a full-blown temper tantrum because his mom wouldn't buy him an XBOX 360 controller, even though she was already buying him a $30 game he shouldn't probably play anyway... He started fussing and whining and demanding it. And not giving it up. She threatened to take the game back so they wouldn't get anything, but he still fought it. He was stomping his feet, pouting, everything. She ended up buying the game, not giving in about the controller though, but he was STILL fighting it. Saying "JUST get it for me mom" like, whining and screaming and stuff. She was so calm, but stern, telling him no, and threatening to return the game.

So when he started picking up movies of ours and throwing them on the floor, and dropping the controller on the floor, she started to return the game. He started FREAKING OUT, screaming, crying, and when it was finished, he threw the controller clear across the room. He reached over ontop of the counter and tried crumpling up the receipt and grabbing the game again, and then he started to run and kick his mom in the back of her knees. She was not hitting him or anything but just remaining calm but she seemed helpless. He was hitting her now, and one of our employees ended up stepping in and holding the child back while the mother grabbed the game and controller and set it on out counter, then snatched her kid's hand and started walking out with him as he screamed, bit her, kicked her, etc. She asked for our employee's help. He wanted to though because that kid was just getting insane. He was hurting his mother, and he was throwing our stuff around the store. He seemed to be 7-8 years old, so he knew what he was doing.

I watched as they went to the car, and he was like, reaching up and slapping his mom in the face, hitting her atop her head, biting and fighting her grasp. He was whining and running away from her like he wasn't going into the car. Our employee ended up walking outside to talk to her and be sort of that "authority figure" that the kid needed around to be shut up by. We got close to calling the cops -- it was seriously that ridiculous. It made other customers terribly uncomfortable and it became violent; kid or not, he was acting way out of line.

-sigh- it was INSANE. I feel like I saw a glimpse of what Mattie and Cheryl go through now, geez... that's just ridiculous. Kids these days. -shakes head- I would've been KILLED if I acted that way towards my parents. One word from them and I hardly whined. Kids are just getting arrogant and spoiled, and want to act out around authority figures and totally disrespect them.. it's ridiculous.

When I have kids, THEY ARE BEHAVING. I am not going to take something like that in public, it's just ridiculous D:

Well, that's all I have to blog about. I have the inventory shift tomorrow so... I probably should get sleep cause I need to wake up in four and a half hours. x'D /dead

Thanks for reading! :)

Undeniably beautiful.

Just amazing.

Visiting relatives!

So last night I got to see my uncle and aunt who live in Pennsylvania! They are so funny and sharp, that east coast like persona about them. I love them to death though, but I haven't seen them in years. It's hard when a lot of my family leaves in the east coast and we can't necessarily travel there every summer (work, school, etc...) So it's always great to see them when we can. Usually my dad's family tries to come down every now and then and visit, whether it's just an uncle or an aunt or both. I can't wait 'til we have a big family reunion one day though -- I miss everyone!

After that, I went by Ethan's and we watched some of his old family videos -- may I say, ADORABLE. Haha, he, his sisters and his cousins were SO YOUNG, it was adorable! Haha, I'm pretty close with his family now so it was really cool to see them all in those videos from back in the day. His parents and uncles and aunts were so young too! Haha, gotta' love the 90's fashion and hair, right? That was interesting to see. It was also really funny, cause anytime Ethan showed up, even though he was only seven, he still had a lot of his mannerisms he has now. Just little things I noticed XD We're gonna' watch some of my family videos next cause we had such a blast haha. I'm such a memory person, I love reminiscing!

Watching them made me want to invest in a camcorder though; so when we go to conventions or when I go places I can start doing video diaries or something. And why not?! Film is an area I haven't dabbled in too much, and heck, I dabble in everything else artsy fartsy wise, so this should be fun. I'm gonna' start saving up and hopefully get one in time for my summer adventures. :) I love photography, but sometimes catching moving film and recording moments is just as memorable if not more so <3 So beware! I'll be video recording now too, almost all the time when we're together on big adventures. XD

Someone's gotta' keep track right?

Well, I better head off -- Ethan and I are having our Valentine's Day date tonight <3 I'm waiting on his present to print off (the poster I designed) but the lab monitor is having difficulties cutting paper. She doesn't really look like she's a graphic design major, so I feel kinda' bad for her. Lol, I'm trying to have patience, but I really need to finish gathering the rest of his present >< Hopefully I'll have time.

I'll let you all know how tonight goes! I'm excited to see what he has planned outside of our normal V-Day tradition. :3 Lol!

"I hate how I don't hate you...

.. not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all." -- 10 Things I Hate About You

AMAZING MOVIE <3

And Valentine's Day was so lovely!

I had class in the morning, but it was just a review day for our test coming up on Thursday, so it wasn't too bad; we actually got out early! Before that though, when I came out of my room to get ready for the day, I noticed a cute little present sitting on the floor in front of my door. Lara got me cute, Valentine's day socks! I loved them! They're actually all singles, but about six in a pack, so they "match" by color, but not really match entirely. So it's fun to wear mismatching ones. C:

After class I got back and did some cleaning, laundry and baked some cookies that I was gonna' take into work. I got out to my car though, and the battery was dead :( Lara wasn't around, and there was rarely someone in the parking lot that wasn't already on a mission to go wherever they were going, so I called the police on campus. Thirty minutes later they made it finally, and after a bad jumper box replacement, it finally was running again! I was pretty late to work though, almost 45 minutes. But luckily they understood. And they liked the cookies I baked C: (even though they were slightly crispy...)

We were reeeeeeeally slow. Jasmine told me we'd be busy cause Valentine's Day is huge on retail or something like that; but that was definitely not true, lol. Not much to do, and only a handful of customers, nothing too hard to manage; luckily it went by fast though.

And Ethan came in and surprised me! <33






He brought me flowers and some chocolates. It was so sweet, I wasn't expecting it. "I just wanted to brighten up your day" he told me, cause of my car incident and then having to work on Valentine's Day. I hadn't expected anything because our date was gonna' be on Thursday, but it was still so nice of him to come by.

And then of course Mattie came by as well~! Which was such a lovely surprise <3 <3 "The Boulder is afflicted!" LOL




And then I got home and did some homework and watched 10 Things I Hate About You! Which may not SOUND like a good Valentine's Day movie, but oh, it is. It has my favorite kind of romance too; the "I loathe you but really love you" kind of stuff. Amazing chemistry, and of course: young Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Heath Ledger, two of my FAVORITE actors. Joseph is so tiny and his voice is so high; it's so funny to see him as Arthur in Inception, all serious and what not. It makes me want to re-watch 500 Days of Summer too since he's in it. And Zoey Deschanel! <3

Tomorrow I get to see my uncle and aunt who are in town from Pennsylvania! Aah! I'm so excited, I haven't seen them in forever. I'm skipping my evening class to do so, otherwise, they'd be leaving Thursday morning having only gotten here today, and I worked 'til 10 today and would've had class 'til 9 on Wednesday. But I'll just get notes from someone. It's worth it :3

Now, off to pass out and have sweet dreams 'til the rude awakening of morning.

Love you ladies! Ta!