Pulled down.

I have phases where the world really pulls me down. Where I focus too much happiness in worldly things, in my relationships with people, in keeping myself busy with things that don't focus on God. I eventually reach an ultimate slump, a valley, where I just realize that there's nothing truly satisfying in this world like God's love for you.

I'm truly blessed with a lot that I'm extremely grateful for, however, there's hobby, no job, no person, no relationship, or no material item or possession that will possibly give you happiness like God's happiness.

It takes meditating on Him and time to myself to really refocus my mind again.

My prayer ...

"God, You've had a grasp on my life ever since I was saved by grace that I don't want to lose. But I always seem to wedge things between You and I: my relationships, my hobbies, school and future ideas. I get jealous, I get worried, I get angry, I get anxious, I get sarcastic, negative, bitter.... and when I feel "happy" it's only temporary if it's not finding happiness in You first. I just pray that You never let me forget that only YOU can satisfy my soul, and give me complete joy. Amen."

Laundry blogging.

This is the blog where I take a break from homework, but still need something to occupy my time while waiting in the laundry room.

Hmm.

So I'll write poetry!

Another Winter Storm

Not much to update,
not much to say,
except for another winter storm
is heading our way.

There are plenty of warnings
of the upcoming snow,
We get it by now,
but they act as if we don't know.

I guess this means more sleeping in,
with dorm time to spare.
Even if I'm locked in all day,
I don't honestly care.

I'll drift away in daydreams,
journal, blog, and draw.
Read a book, read my Bible,
and watch the snow gently fall with awe.

Eventually routine will settle in,
possibly another snowstorm or two.
I'm going to enjoy this time though, cozy and warm,
and I hope the same goes for you.

Winter Reminds Me (a poem made up of haikus)

Winter reminds me
of catching snowflakes on
our tongues; cold and sweet.
Winter reminds me
of icy windows, but warmth
from fireplaces.
Winter reminds me
of snug coats and cute mittens,
scarves caught in the wind.
Winter reminds me
of snowball fights and snow forts,
young kids, rosy cheeks.
Winter reminds me
that snow and cold shall soon pass,
melting into spring.


Winter

You can find me when it's cold,
when the last leaf of autumn falls,
when the humans snuggly bundle up,
or when the crimson cardinal calls.

You can find me among the shortening the days,
when the sun yawns and early it retires;
when the vivid white moon beams down into homes,
where people curl up and read near fires.

You can find me when with a fresh fallen snow,
when a white blanket dons Earth;
when dinner is warm, and family is near
when the holiday time is of the Savior's birth.

You can find me hanging on as warm days are near,
But, you see, I'll be slowly fading away.
For when the flowers bloom, and when the grass is green,
I'll have to return another day.

I'm always very inspired by winter and it's loveliness, even though it can be bitter cold sometimes. I like to find the warmth of winter, and capture it. I hope you all enjoyed, and thanks for reading!

Sunday isn't for the Superbowl.

It's for God -- and I've got a lot to say on Him this blog.

Today in church our pastor talked about the current events of Egypt's invasion. He further discussed and extended on that with Daniel's prophecy of rising empires in the book of Ezekial -- which means, the last empire to rise before the end times would be the coalition of European nations, and middle eastern nations, to eventually invade and conquer Israel. And how that's slowly happening bit by bit, and this invasion of Egypt, though is an indirect cause, is just the birth of that.

I would go into further detail, but, that's really all there is to it -- our generation WILL see the end times. We're probably living through them right now. This doesn't worry me because I'm a Christian saved by grace, but, it really hit me in the gut because I haven't been doing my share of sharing God's glory and having a passion to save the lost. I need to apply the Lord that changed my life to my daily life moreso, so people can see that. Can witness that, breathe it in, and understand it. I may show His love with my actions, or patience, but, I don't show His love by just talking to people and getting it out there bluntly. I need to do that more. I need to try harder to build my spiritual life up, for everything else to fall into place. I went down and prayed with Cheryl at the altar today about it; I want to be ready, I want to be prepared, and I want to be a Warrior of Christ, not just a weak Christian who gets by going through the motions.

Because of this mindset, getting on Facebook and seeing all these dumb posts and status updates about the Superbowl or Superbowl halftime really blew my mind -- it's pointless. A lot of things, even though they may be enjoyable to us, in the grand scheme of God's greater plan and picture, at pointless. Here today, changed or gone the next. But God NEVER changes... He's the One Thing that has always stayed the same, and will always stay the same. His Love, His Plan, and His Rule. That's extremely comforting, however, I myself have fallen into temptations of this world too much lately. There's a place for all of them, but, I easily idolize and daydream and lock myself in my own world, with no trouble, with plenty of happiness and love. I don't open my eyes to God and the rest of the world around me. I'm naive and selfish.

I don't want to rub anyone the wrong way. There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying the things of this world, there are many beautiful things about it. Art, expression, freedom, love, friendship, happiness, lovely weather, fun memories, family. But what we can't do, which is what I've done, is attach ourselves too much to this world that when the time comes, we wouldn't want to let go. We need to live here, but live for a Higher Purpose, for God's purpose. Always remember that nothing can satisfy like He can -- and once we invest in Him, he will bless our lives bountifully, and we'll have joy in both our worldly life and our soulful life. We'll have one foot here on Earth, stable, but our hearts and souls and eyes towards God and Heaven. Another thing I need to keep in mind.

I love a lot of people in this world, and love a lot of things about this world -- but I know that it won't give me that joy like God does. I also know that I need to prepare myself for the end times, to be witnesses and messengers to those that don't know God, win souls for Him. I'm very excited, but slightly nervous, to grow stronger. I always worry about slipping back, and drifting again. But, I do also know, that God won't let me fall too far without picking me back up.

Thanks for reading, I know it was a very serious blog, but, it needed to be written. My mind was pouring with things I needed to say.

I still wanted to post some pictures though to inspire you. God bless. <3

I only got four minutes to save the world.

Mood: Productive!
Listening: "Bleeding Love", Leona Lewis
Reading: Boy Meets Girl, Joshua Harris & Mockingjay, Suzanne Collins
Watching: Nothing yet! Gonna' start a new anime soon though.
Working on: Losing weight, design projects due, and new cosplays/cosplay planning!

Today was another snow day, and so is tomorrow! I'm wondering if we'll even have school on Friday, though I really really hope so since it's hip-hop! I love that class! *crosses fingers*

I slept in too long for my liking today ('til 1:30 *facepalm*) but, I still managed to get another page in my menu design done as well as scan in my new pictures for 365 days project and clean up the dorm a little bit. Me and Cheryl started a new group on DeviantART, titled "SaishuuOtakuShinjas" which means in Japanese (roughly XD) "Gathering Anime Loving Christians". It's cool, cause the acronym is "SOS" which means a cry/call for help or signaling for help, which is what we should always do in the quest to share God's glory; as well as what we should do, cry out to God, in need of help. The group will have any sort of uplifting artwork/encouraging artwork, or Christian themed artwork. I'm so excited to see this group grow! Plus it's fun being co-founder. :)

Today was also very memorable, because me and my roommate, Lara, got out of our dorms finally and romped around in the snow! But not just meaningless romping, no... we took an adventure to Ted's restaurant! It's about a 20 minute walk from our dorm, and it was night, with slick roads and snow everywhere and negative temperatures -- but, it wouldn't be an adventure if there wasn't a sense of risk! We made it though and they were open, and it was the best food EVER since we walked just to get it. It really made me feel grateful in general, though, for all the luxuries we have just to get to places conveniently. Americans can easily take advantage of all that kind of stuff, like cars, or even bikes, as well as the fact that everything is usually relatively close. It also made me grateful for the delicious, plentiful supply of food we do have here. Some people walk miles and miles just to gather water that's dirty, or to go to a town to get a loaf of bread that will last them the whole week. It really humbled me, even if it just seemed like something for fun.

Thought I'd share some of the pictures we took with you guys. It was a fun adventure!























So after we got back, I did some abdominal workouts and I'm feeling it! The gym is closed, so, I had to do some old-fashioned crunches, but, I'm very determined and stubborn to lose weight and get toned. I'm one step closer!

Tomorrow I plan on doing more homework, some drawing, and do even more cleaning/organizing around the room. Possibly go to the gym if it's open, if not, just do some working out here. It will be very nice when things get back in order again; I'm starting to miss the routine of classes and getting to go out to see friends and drive around and stuff. And I miss the warm sun!

Oh, I can't wait until summer.

But, snow is fun for now.

Enjoy some awesome pictures. :) Mattie & Cheryl got me inspired to start doing this for my blogs now, teehee.

This has gotta' be the good life.

So, this week has been nothing but one thing: SNOW.

SNOW.

SNOW.

Oklahoma got dumped with about one years worth of snow these past 24+ hours, but, it's not too bad... Snow is extremely beautiful and majestic when it's untouched and glistening in the sun -- it makes being cramped inside a little bit more bearable if I can just gaze at it from the window. Or romp around in it, catch flakes on my tongue, and make snow angels, of course...

:)

I plan on running around in the snow tomorrow and snapping pictures, but today has been nothing but being inside and working on design homework. We're designing menus for restaurants now, and the restaurant I chose was POPs -- which is this cute, retro diner on Route 66 in Edmond with an amazing landmark soda bottle outside, and a very modern/intriguing architecture design to the building. It also houses tons and tons of soda pop options, all available in vintage glass bottles. The whole atmosphere is very cute and endearing, and I'm excited to be creating its new menu! I may even see if they'd want to actually use it, and of course, that means payment. Sometimes it's handy being a design student: getting free lance money for projects I've done for actual clients is very nifty.



I've been doing pretty well on my 365 days project, though I'm still behind, I'm catching up. I can already see my art improving and becoming more fluid; I'm also accepting my challenges I made and working more with backgrounds, males, and different poses/perspectives. I'm very excited to see what this year has in store for me with my artwork; there's always room for improvement!

So!

Cosplay's been on the brain, and I've decided on my new cosplays for Tokyo in Tulsa.

Fire nation Katara.


& Sailor Jupiter.


I'm so excited for this con! Cheryl and Mattie and I will make some wicked awesome girl groups ;) Sailor Mars, Jupiter and Moon combo, as well as Azula, Katara, Ty Lee combo! I'm so excited, it's so much more fun to cosplay as a group. HOWEVER, I definitely need to tone down/lose some weight to make both of these looks successful -- Katara's midrif shows some, and Sailor Jupiter is way thin, and wears a pretty tight fitting outfit. I'd like to lose at least 20 pounds to try to get to these effectively, as well as tone down, get some abs! Haha, bring it on!

I've been listening to the song Good Life, by OneRepublic. The lyrics, in general, are saying to really take life in, what's there to complain about? Even when things go awry or wrong, we should embrace them almost. Pardon some of the cursing, he does say "bs", but, it's a really catchy and encouraging song in a sense.



"When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over; when everything is out, you gotta' take it in."

The music of the night.

This past week in college has been very fun, and very entertaining -- as well as exciting, in a surprising way.

My Cartooning class has been extremely fun and enjoyable, and it's only the second week! I just look forward to it every Tuesday and Thursday, and seriously, time actually goes by TOO fast in that class. I find myself just sitting and drawing and drawing, trying to get better, do well, and really push myself. As well as the atmosphere is just really laid back and entertaining, with a lot of different personalities and tons of nerdiness (of course!), which always makes for a good time. My instructor even mentioned how he wants to petition for our class to get to go to Comic-Con as a class assignment/field trip thing! My jaw literally dropped -- I was in heaven. Whether it happened or not, the idea of it being thrown out in a serious statement just made my day.


My 365 days project has been going really well so far! Though, I'm still catching up from day 1, which means drawing 2+ pictures a day instead. I'm trying to challenge myself more, but, I still find myself drawing a lot of the same things; which usually means cute girls with flowy dresses or edgy outfits, usually just standing in a three quarter view. I'm getting better at sketching less messily, unless I try for something more complex than a simple pose, it still gets sketchy and erased up ... that of which I'm working on. The next couple of weeks/month or so I want to really push myself to:
- Draw more guys -- work with guy outfits, posing, attitudes, etc.
- Draw backgrounds to my work -- whether that means full on backgrounds, or just some props, I need more in the white space.
- Try a mature style -- experiment more with the more detailed/mature style of anime rather than the cutesy shojo style I tend to lean towards. (Not mature as in adult/explicit o_o I hope you all get what I mean).

There's probably more, I just forgot.

Lesse, what else. OH, right.

I'm taking a hip-hop class! Which is going to be super awesome, I love my hip-hop dance crew so far. Hip-Hop is such fun style, that you can really make your own and get away with it. You can make it hard and edgy or just chill and groovy; girly or strong. It's also a really great work out, and makes me appreciate hip-hop music for the beats and the high energy, adrenaline pumping aspects. There's soooo many girls in that class that are just amazing dancers though, like my roommate for example (she's a dance major, so, go figure). I find myself comparing myself to them, but, I really don't want to for the sake of enjoying myself instead of getting too frustrated. In that class, you really can't get too harsh on yourself, or start worrying and comparing because then you'd never have fun -- besides, there are tons of other people in there just like me who's not nearly as good yet either.




I just love dance though, especially hip-hop -- it's so expressive and athletic and artistic all at once. I can't wait to explore it more.

There was a fire in the suites the other day!

:0

I know right?

It started in the grill in our suites because someone left the grill on after closing, so it was a grease fire; it was around midnight or so, so we all had to shuffle out in the FREEZING COLD and wait for about a half an hour before we could go back in. It was all good though, the fire department is right down the block so they were there in a jiffy to put it out. God really had things under control and kept everyone safe, and we were back in the suites like normal in no time. It looked worse than it actually was though, with smoke curling around the parking lot and up into the sky like a bad house fire. That was the "exciting in a surprising way part". It was one of those things that kept everyone talking about it even into the next day. Like in grade school when there was a REAL "tornado drill", even though the tornado was 45 minutes away, everyone gushed about it for about a week or so. That'll probably happen with this. It's funny how we all latch onto stories like that and suck them dry like leeches until something else interesting happens.

Ah well, let's hope the next interesting thing isn't dangerous or bad at all.



Tonight though was really enjoyable -- I went to this showing at UCO called 101 Years of Broadway, brought to you by Neil Burg! It was really amazing, with bigtime/current Broadway stars singing hits from any Broadway show you can think of -- RENT, Mama Mia, Les Miserables, Jekyl and Hyde, Wicked .. -- and of course, PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. It's funny, cause his precursor to the Phantom section (which was the last two songs) was along the lines of: "WELL, in Broadway and musical theater we all like fresh new things, so sometimes old musical theater pieces gets redundant; however, you're the ones paying! And this is the longest running, still running, Broadway show of all time, as well as one of the most magical." And then they performed "The Phantom of the Opera" and "Music of the Night", both of which were stunning and amazing as always. I just found in amusing he pointed out the fact that Phantom of the Opera, though very beloved and a classic, isn't always the cream of the crop and the pick of every Broadway star out there. HOWEVER, I conclude myself, that if those Broadway stars were to be cast in such a classic, timeless and beautiful piece, they wouldn't be complaining in more.

I rest my case.

I love Phantom of the Opera though -- the music is so beautiful, and so enchanting... the story is too. Music of the Night is probably the best piece of music ever written for Broadway, EVER. It's undoubtedly a captivating song, and truly does everything the Phantom sings of -- intoxicates you, and draws you in.

Oooh, I'm getting goosebumps thinking about it.

Hey, Cheryl: "TURN YOUR FACE AWAY!!" I thought of you during that, and tried to not giggle, hahaaaa <3 :)

Well, that's it for this week! Thanks for reading!

The sunshine inside of your heart!

Today I was watching an anime, called Diamond Daydreams. It's all about little stories of girls who all in live in this central area of Japan, Hokkaido, who all go through their own life stories and they all end up in different ways.

One of the most inspiring stories, was about a girl who was an ice skater who's best friend was also an ice skater, both starting really young. They're the best of friends, but they both wanted to win the gold when they were older. They were walking together and it was snowing -- in the anime it's called the "diamond dust" in folklore -- and if you wish on the diamond dust, it's to come true.

This was one of the aspects that caught my attention.

The other was that they're story was rather sad -- one of the friends sabotaged the other by hurting her to keep her out of skating, so she could win the gold. The hurt girl ended up running away from skating all together, but recently decided to return, and she just wanted to see her best friend and make amends. Because they wished on the diamond dust together that they'd win the gold medal together, and "split it."

In the end, both girls became best friends again -- through the trials and the rough times, they found a way to be complete in one another again. One of the last things they left their story at was, "No matter if the sun is out or not, it can still be a beautiful day -- because the sunshine is in your heart!"

I was like, BLOWN AWAY just now thinking about it, as well as after reading this lovely comment from Mattie on my recent blog, in which I found myself complaining about things again: (I hope you don't mind me reposting this, Mattie! XD)

"I love living in America though, we have it so good and don't even know it. But I believe spending time in my textbooks isn't just something that I have to do or that it's wasting my time, I'm learning things and attaining new talents that God has chosen for me to do so that I'll help people / save lives in the future. I think everything happens for a reason, maybe you're in a traffic jam or in a line at the store because it's a witnessing opportunity. Yes, technology has made us a bit lazy, okay really lazy for some, but with it's advances we're curing diseases and making people well. We can talk to people many miles away and people are using that as a tool to share the Word.

I'm not downing on you, just some healthy arguing. XD I love you girlie! I wish I had more time to just relax and be with my family, but I know that doing all this work will benefit me and my family and that I'm doing it for Jesus. ^.^"

It's so true! Thank you so much Mattie for blessing me with this comment. :)

God's in EVERYTHING, even the traffic jams and textbooks I always complain about; even in the hard times and the times I feel like giving up, I feel forgotten, ugly, or unloved -- God's in every negative feeling, trying to grab us by the shoulders and tell us otherwise. What the devil uses for evil, God will sure use for good - and He has before. It's ridiculous to really sit and dread on things, or complain when there's so much beauty even in the things we complain about. There's so much beauty in life, even when the sun's not shining outside.

So, in this time of winter, when it's cold and dreary, little sunlight, with a lot of worries or struggles or dark thoughts, we should just take time to really take God in -- what are we doing for Him? Are we giving Him glory by complaining? By acting negative and pessimistic? No! Who wants to believe what we witness if we don't live out the joy we really have? We DO have that sunshine inside of us, but, we tend to let the cloud cover or winter of life really get in the way.

Sunlight always comes bursting through -- but until it does, we must remember the sunshine we all have within us, which is that true Joy that only comes from God, and what Jesus did for us.

When snow is falling, when ice is slick under you, when you feel cold, lost, lonely, ugly, depressed, you should look for that sunshine inside of your heart to really remind yourself -- it can, and will be, a beautiful day.