Saturday, May 11, 2013

Now that I see you...


Today's been kinda' disappointing.

All I really did was lounge around, and then went to work. Work can be fun but still, I get home and am tired. I usually work circles at that place. And still am having to train people... I hope when I transfer to the OKC store I can work with Sable more.

I got home and just wanted to watch my new Moulin Rogue blu-ray and pack/organize/clean... but our blu-ray player wouldn't play it, said it needed "an upgrade". I got so frustrated cause I spent like $13 on it. >:( I hope I can get it to play cause it's only blu-ray option so... yeah. I ended up just vegging on FB and kinda' pouting the rest of the night.

Ethan got my hopes up this weekend, twice, about hanging out. I really, really hate that. Dude, just don't say anything to me don't let me get my hopes up. Or, here's a wild idea: surprise me and show up anyway. You know I always love your company, and would rather be WITH people than alone any day... Why be so distant thinking I "want that space"?

UGH. I HATE MEN. -_- He just doesn't get me at all and it's getting really annoying...

During work, on my Pandora station, "Part of Your World" came on. The Broadway version (BEAUTIFUL, btw). I lovvvvvvee love love that song. Well, of course people kinda' snorted when it came on. And when I said "don't you dare skip it!" I turned back to finish giving change to my customer and he was smirking and said "Oh, I'm only judging you just a bit, but honestly, judging you."

I know he was being sarcastic, but it kinda' pissed me off.

I mean, come on. What is so freaking wrong with loving Disney? Or cartoons? Or shows like My Little Pony? What's wrong with embracing innocence and childhood and dreams? People at school tease me, I feel like I have to hide who I am half the time... like people will pick up my key lanyard, see MLP on it, giggle a bit or sing the song or snort and joke about it. Like really? Get over yourselfs. Sorry I don't watch flesh-rotting zombies or incestual sex for entertainment (I'm looking at you, Walking Dead & Game of Thrones). Sorry that I enjoy bright colors, beautiful animation, lovely stories, powerful morals,  life lessons, innocence, beloved songs, treasured memories... Sorry I daydream or sing while I work or hum "Go the Distance" or "A Whole New World" while I go place to place. Sorry my idea of fun is creating costumes from scratch, drawing, reading comics or watching animated movies from Pixar or Disney.

Actually no, not sorry, they are the sorry ones. Losers.

I'll just quit everything and be a character-actor, or even a janitor, at Disneyworld. I'd be totally fine with that... I'd belong there.

*SIGH*, people suck.

I got a 100 on my photography project (the Disney one, ironically lol). And my teacher said it was clear  I was passionate about it... yeah, I really, really was. It was so fun. I felt like I was engaging in these stories I love so much... Part of me wonders if graphic design is right for me. I pray and hope it leads me to the job meant for me, my dream. Concept illustration for shows like Korra, or movies like Disney, high-end fashion/costuming photography for Disney or conventions...

I'm starting to embrace I won't really ever grow out of all this that I love. Disney, childhood stories, cartoons, animation, comics, drawings, innocence, theatricality... And I'm okay with that.

I AM FINALLY MOVED OUT. And living with my parents. I'm so happy to be in a peaceful setting... a sleepy setting, they go to bed so early and it's so relaxed here I want to go to bed way early too lol. That's good though.

I'm gonna' try to jog/walk/run every morning this summer. Or at least get up and work-out somehow... just to stay active and start losing weight. I need to get back in shape. It's gotten bad.

Ladies... never let go of your dreams. Or your youth. Don't let haters hate. Be yourself. Who cares what they think? We'll never see them again, most likely, and if we do, well, they'll just grow to love us or they don't need to be our friends. What matters is your opinion of yourself, and your friendships you already have. I'm tired of feeling like I have to put up a front, or that I can't be myself because I'm worried about what other people think. I'm so, so sick of that. I'm going to try to change that. I don't want anything to hold me back from being all I can be.

Friendship is magic.

Stay forever young.

Change your own fate.

Find your new dream.

Discover who you truly are...

Have a barrage of Disney and Big Four pics. Love you all.

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

Meghan I love you, and the person you are!! I'm so glad you aren't ever going to change for anyone, thats something I admire about you. :) And I'm so excited you are moved back home now!! That means we can hang out more now!! Love ya!! Stay Gold. ;)