Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Cosplay update, 4/26/2011; and elf ears?!

Cosplay progress is going steadily, but still going. I'm getting further on Malon, though a good cosplay work day of lots of progress would really be nice. Maybe once school is over with, ugh @_@. The last thing I want is to start getting super stressed about something that is meant to be fun; the Malon detail work is going to be stressful and time consuming for sure, so I would want to have time.

But, Cheryl! I researched elf-ear ideas. And everyone on Cosplay.com was point me to this place: http://www.aradanicostumes.com/elf_ears . I looked at their ears, and they seem REALLY legit! Adella hasn't answered me back yet, but maybe this is what she did? Just ordered them? They're I think the ones we'd use are the anime elf ears or the large anime elf ears. I hear their quality is really nice, so, that'd be a plus for us. We could purchase them unpainted, or add $5.00 for the color we think would be good for us (probably the light skin tone color). If we got them unpainted, we'd be able to go to Hobby Lobby or wherever and match up our skin tone to some paint and paint them that way.

What do you think?! :D I think these could really work!

Season 3 Watertribe Katara:
- Redo the leg and forearm armor.
- New Velcro for Necklace.
- Dry clean.
- New boots??

Fire Nation Katara:
- Pattern detailing on skirt (handsew on)
- Anklets, necklace and upper arm pieces need to be made.
- Paint braclets gold.
- Make necklace/choker
- Fire nation hair piece thingy needs to be made
- WORK OUT MORE Dx Abbbbssss.
- Make sure blue contacts I already have will still work ><

KH2 Kairi:
- Repaint rubber on shoes to black (too chipped off).
- Find better belt for around waist.
- Make/find new stone necklace?

Formal Katara: DONE! <3

Malon:
- Make base skirt
- Make scarf
- Make base shirt
- Make apron thingy
- Find shoes?!
- Find basic, brown stretch belt for around waist
- Bowser broach & triforce belt buckle
- Order wig
- Figure out elf-ears; order, or make.

Rave Kairi:
- EVERYTHING :D

Katara swimwear:
- EVERYTHING :D

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Shattering that mirror.

I'm finding myself often negative towards others, and even myself. You wouldn't think so; I'm not a gossipy looking girl who always sneers and rolls her eyes. However, I judge people often, inflating my pride; or, I compare myself to them, degrading my self-esteem. Even though it's flawed and hypocritical, we've all been there.

Especially us girls. It's hard to go about this sinful world that's forcing "beauty" and "acceptance" down our throats. We apparently have to be 5'9, 135 lbs, slender and exotic to be considered beautiful. Our skin has to be airbrush smooth, our eyes have to be intoxicatingly stunning, our confidence through the roof. We must wear skin tight clothes, the latest fashions, and strut around or guys will never notice us or take heed to our existence. Apparently.

This psychological torment can go one of two ways.

First, is when we do have confidence. When we do have that slightest bit of confidence in ourselves, gleaming on the horizon, a peace in our heart that's God given about our beauty He's deemed us... I find myself, personally, abusing that confidence. Looking down on others, holding myself in higher regard, etc. Cosplay recently has really done this to me. I think "Oh, I'll be way better than her" or "she's not very good at (such and such) cosplay at all for (this and that) reason". However, ironically, if I were to hear anyone mutter words like that about me, I'd be crushed. Devastated. I'd call them rude and feel hurt. Yeah.

Ironic.

Second, is when we don't have confidence. We feel empty. Ugly. Unwanted. Fat. Sluggish. Lethargic. Blah. All we want to do is just get through the day and try to not look in the mirror. Nothing is going right; our hair won't go right, nothing is fitting, you feel fat from the meal you had last night... you're not happy with yourself at all. I'm usually here on a regular basis as well. Finding myself, even when people tell me otherwise, ugly. Sometimes it's also driven from how my personality and spirituality has been lately; good? Bad? Indifferent? That reflects in my eyes, which reflects my image back to me -- and it's never a good sight. When I'm like this, in this stage of low confidence, I feel bitter and hopeless, sarcastic and distant. I don't care to look nice or even want to go out where looking nice would be expected. I just want to stay home, and stare at my computer, drowning myself in music and Facebook. Sounds great right?

Not really...

Right now, we're all at this crossroads of branching out from who we once were in highschool/early college, to who we'll be for the future. For the rest of our lives. That doesn't mean we have to grow up entirely, heck, I'm still a kid. I'll always be young at heart. But certain mindsets, we drastically need to change. We need to be more encouraging and less discouraging. We need to realize both sides of the spectrum; would we say the things we would if those people were around us, listening quietly? Why are we so harsh on our self-esteem and our self-image, but praise the beauty of others so easily? Why do we compare ourselves to others, either in a prideful or degrading way? What will all these actions and attitudes bring us? Is it helping us or hindering us?

I've felt sinful and guilty about my attitude lately and I'm going to try harder to look at things through God's eyes. When I see people as God would see them, it changes things; drastically. I no longer see just the "physical", but instead, the spirit and soul of the person. Their heart and mind. I try to push past those stereotypes and judgmental notions and really see them as they are. A person that I should love as much as God loves them.

However, that ALSO goes towards our attitude about ourselves. This is definitely the hardest. Just as we strive so hard to not judge others, and see others as beautiful and as God's children, we must see ourselves as that too. We must close our eyes, or look in the mirror, and truly see who we are as God sees us. He didn't make us how he are as a "mistake" -- God doesn't MAKE mistakes. There are no mistakes in His creation. We see ourselves as a mistake because that's what the world tells us. That's what we tell ourselves. It's an endless cycle and battle that the Devil seems to constantly win. However, we need to push past that -- we need to reach into the mirror, with all our strength, and clutch our reflection's hand tight. We need to draw it into a tight embrace, and shatter the glass that reflects all those once hateful feelings. We need to embrace God's creation that is ourselves, and loving it as much as He loves us, and as much as we desire to love others.

I know this is all a hard mindset to gather and breathe in. It's 2:30 AM, and I have church in the morning, but it was itching at my fingertips and knocking on my heart all weak to just spill this out at some point and God chose this quiet moment at night to do so. Don't read this as me talking to you. Read this as God crying out for your attention.

I hope He speaks through me, for I can only do so much.

But He can do all.









Monday, April 18, 2011

Cosplay update, 4/18/2011

Season 3 Watertribe Katara:
- Redo the leg and forearm armor.
- New Velcro for Necklace.
- Dry clean.
- New boots??

Fire Nation Katara:
- Pattern detailing on skirt (handsew on)
- Anklets, necklace and upper arm pieces need to be made.
- Paint braclets gold.
- Make necklace/choker
- Fire nation hair piece thingy needs to be made
- WORK OUT MORE Dx Abbbbssss.

KH2 Kairi:
- Repaint rubber on shoes to black (too chipped off).
- Find better belt for around waist.
- Make/find new stone necklace?

Formal Katara: DONE! <3

Malon:
- Make base skirt
- Make scarf
- Make base shirt
- Make apron thingy
- Find shoes?!
- Find basic, brown stretch belt for around waist (simple)
- Bowser broach & triforce belt buckle
- Order wig

Rave Kairi:
- EVERYTHING :D

Katara swimwear:
- EVERYTHING :D

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A cosplay check-list/update. :D

So, this blog is mainly for personal account on what it is I need for my cosplays coming up. XD

Official cosplays for AKON and TnT this year! = Fire Nation Katara, Season 3 watertribe Katara, KH2 Kairi & Malon from Legend of Zelda. Also, I'm doing a formal Katara for the ball (if we'll be going to a cosplay one at all, maybe at TnT) as well as a Kairi rave outfit! :) I also may attempt Katara's swimwear for cosplaying while at the pool! ;D Hahaha.

Sooo, based on all that, here's whats Is needs :3

- Season 3 Watertribe Katara:
- Redo the leg and forearm armor.
- New Velcro for Necklace.
- Dry clean.
- New boots??

Fire Nation Katara:
- Pattern detailing on skirt (handsew on)
- Anklets, necklace and upper arm pieces need to be made.
- Paint braclets gold.
- Fire nation hair piece thingy needs to be made
- WORK OUT MORE Dx Abbbbssss.

KH2 Kairi:
- Repaint rubber on shoes to black (too chipped off).
- Find better belt for around waist.
- Make/find new stone necklace?

Formal Katara: DONE! <3

Malon:
- EVERYTHING :D

Rave Kairi:
- EVERYTHING :D

Katara swimwear:
- EVERYTHING :D

So, once I get some of these things/get further along, I'll definitely update later. I'm stoked for my new cosplays though! :D And can't seem to focus on school very well, oy vey

@.@

Can it just be summer already?!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Taking it all one day at a time.

"Four to five days compared to a lifetime isn't that bad." -- Daddy :)

This is so very true. I need to slow down, take deep breaths, and take each day at a time, loving each day, and making each day its greatest. I worry so much on the future, that anxiety takes over and nearly swallows me whole. I find myself never enjoying the time I have in the moment, I find myself not realizing, yes, this stress with school just means a better future in the long run. I find myself wanting to capture absolutely everything without really taking it in. I find myself rushing and scrambling to finish instead of enjoying the time finishing.

I was driving today in my car, listening to Taylor Swift, with the warm sun radiating in through the windows and I just couldn't help but feel really happy and content. I truly took time to soak everything in; the crisp sounds of her quirky country-pop voice, the lyrics she sang, the way my car whirred on the bumpy roads, the melting butter sun into the lavender dusk sky, the smell of fresh cut grass and seeing friendly people relaxing in their yard, soaked up in conversation. The taste of summer is on my tongue, the feel of its freedom and excitement at my fingertips... It's just those simple things like a peaceful car-ride in a small-town, the excitement of what's to come in the summer, that makes everything that's stressful just disappear.

In four weeks, I'll be sitting outside on my patio at home, soaking up the rays of the sun with no worry or stress of school to bog me down. Just four weeks! In roughly nine weeks, about two months, I'll be hitting up Dallas with my best friends to our first taste of the convention of a lifetime, attending another one only a month after that. Summer will be full of warm nights of meteor showers and stargazing, snowcones and fresh grass, bonfires and swimming, barefeet and shorts, sun on our skin and letting our hair hang free. Handstands, bubbling laughter, cosplay, trampolines, days off, sleeping in, conventions, fireworks, reading, drawing, running free from stress for a little while... Summer is such a time that we should be grateful for and thankful that's on our way. God is truly blessing us all with an amazing time coming up, and I just know that we'll remember it. :)

Hang in there guys, summer is coming up close. Let's live one day at a time, soaking it all in, and not let these stressful days and weeks bring us down. Keep our eyes up ahead on summer, and what God has planned for us. Warm sun is peaking over the horizon, about ready to burst in rays of orange, yellow and red. We'll get to be let loose from this stress for just a little while to run in the ribbons of light, laughing and playing and making lasting memories.

I can't wait!

Love you all!


















Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Right here waiting.

Is it selfish to wish that things weren't happening like this?

I understand you want your space, and I'm quietly stepping back to give that to you. You're not intending anything by it at all, you just have other things going on you need to do. However, it's like you don't even notice me. Something feels different, off somehow. You're less conversational, and it's like you're more relieved of the time we're spending apart rather than looking forward to time we can spend together. I'm sure I'm feeling like this only because it's hard to hear that you would want space from me, when you should want to spend time with me, because I want to spend time with you. And yes, I am aware that you saying that you don't want to spend time with me today, or tomorrow, or this week, doesn't necessarily mean that you don't want to ever again.

I'm turning my head down and trying to not be my typical open-book self in displaying my true emotions, and I think I'm getting better at it, for you're not really noticing. I feel like I'm always having to swallow down these thick feelings to keep them from resurfacing, to keep the light in your eyes, to keep you from worrying about me or feeling guilty or bad. I never doubt your feelings for me still, your care for me, your genuine concern. I know that's all there, alive and active. However, I can't help but feel distant from you because of all this, because of the distance you're asking for.

I suppose I wish to be missed by you, is all; for I feel like ever since we started seeing each other less, I miss you more and you miss me little. I'm always the one reaching for your hand when we're together, however, you rarely reach for mine.

Just bare with me, for this isn't easy. I've told you all this before, but I feel I never want to speak of it again unless it becomes unbearable. I'm sure it'll become easier, yes. I'm sure I'll mature through this all, become less dependent. Maybe that's God's reasoning for all of this. However, I can't help but desire to see you act upon those feelings you always talk to me about that you have for me. I can't help but desire to feel missed by you or see you excited to see me.

Is that selfishness speaking? Or just genuine human want?

I'm right here waiting, so, please don't take long.