Honestly?

This blog was originally written very bitterly and kinda' pathetically sad. But now that I've vented that out to myself, I'm gonna' change it up and make it more optimistic, lol.

I do have anxiety about school though. My mom was talking to me earlier about it, and asked if I feel in constant turmoil there. Yes, and no. I love graphic design. I love illustration. The creativity, the liveliness, the fast-pace life style. I don't like the stress and sometimes, the people. Designers are a certain breed; a lot of them can be like me and Sable. Artsy, laid-back, mellow, friendly, insightful, hard-workers. Nerdy, geeky, goofy, creative, what have you. The rest I just notice, friendly or not, seem to only find fun in partying and drinking. Twice this week the design kids wanted to go to two different bars, and a drag show. Like, really? Why is that appealing? Drag shows are freaking dumb, and you probably won't even remember your Friday night 'cause you're hammered!

I think other things are fun, like: movie parties or marathons, laser tag, arcades, roller skating, bowling. Am I five, or am I more mature than they are? lol.

Honestly, I'm a little sad everyone's drifting or ending cosplaying :( I know it's y'all's life, but I guess i can't help but feel like it's bittersweet. I'm not ready to stop yet, I don't know when I will be. It's just... too much fun to me still, lol. I mean sure, it'll probably definitely slow down after this year. But I don't think I'll stop at all. Sable and I were discussing traveling to different cons to just go on Saturdays, just to see what they're like; and then spend the rest of the weekend or time there exploring the area. Like Colorado ice castles or mountains, or the beach :)

Once cosplaying does end though I def. want to focus on tables. Tables tables tables. I want to be a witness to this world, guys. It's such a lost world that others write off as unimportant. I want to be a witness within our community. I was so inspired by Vic that one Sunday at Izumicon, it was seriously a huge God moment for me. Through cosplay or not, somehow I am meant to witness with my talents and hobbies; and goodness sake, I'm gonna' do it. Tables will be the best way; but I'm also gonna' try harder through cosplay too. Just being genuinely nice. Idk, I'm going to pray about different ways to witness through cosplay and every day con goers.

I moved back into Edmond today, ewww. Being there just makes me anxious and thinking about school, and living with the "couple" again. I do like being on my own though, but, this will be nice to know it's my last semester.

I never did blog about the cruise, did I? that will need to be done eventually...

I'm so horrible at posting pics to FB I need to do that at some point.

THINGS TO DO!!
- Plan cosplays for Naka & TnT
- Start on cosplays O.O
- SAVE MONEY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
- Stay positive
- Pray, all the time
- Work harder in school
- Expand my talents
- Draw every day
- Post pics to FB: summer pics (NY, Florida, cons, etc...) as well as cruise pics and throughout the year stuff.
- Back-up computer
- Sort through files on computer/organize
- Clean up room, sell books, sell clothes, donate things
- Work-out every day, somehow...
- Thank God for all my blessings.
- Take NOTHING for granted.

Also.......

I never thought I'd say it but....

.....

Adventure Time is growing on me.

/flails