Wednesday, August 31, 2011
So the first week of school has gone and went, and the second one is nearly over too! Man. Time is already passing by rather quickly already, so I hope it stays this way... before we know it gals, it'll be Peter Pan time! <3 And then fall and cooler weather, Izumicon and then winter break, and then who knows what else! I'm excited for some change from this nasty heat and letting go of summer finally, and embracing school and the fall.
I've been pretty good at staying on top of homework and assignments so far. I'm trying to use my time more efficiently instead of just lying around a lot or procrastinating like I always used to. There's honestly no other way; between school AND work, I don't have time to waste, or time to procrastinate. If I do, I can't possibly recover last minute or anything. Time to grow up and be responsible. :)
Me and Ethan are fine, however, I'm getting a little upset with his negligence to talk to me regularly. We can't see each other as often because of school and work, but, he doesn't even really text me, call me, or IM me much.. like yesterday, he texted me around one randomly, quoting LazyTown lyrics. I thought it was really cute and funny and I texted him back finishing the lyrics like we always tend to do; be witty or clever with our texts to one another. But then he NEVER replied back, like literally. All day. Nothing. I didn't text him or hound him or whatever to see if he'd think to text me or something but he never did... he finally texted around ten thirty saying "How is your evening going?" and I'm like "x______x" IT'S PRACTICALLY GONE NOW, THANKS. But I didn't say that, I didn't reply until I got on FB and he IMd me saying he had texted me. By then I was annoyed, bitter and tired so I was sort of short and cold towards him and got off rather briskly and passed out.
I'm trying to become less clingy and worrisome in the relationship. Last time we talked, he said how when I overreact or get over emotional/cry a lot or whatever, it tires him out. I make him tired most of the time when he's tired... Which really sort of caught me off guard and hurt a little. I understand where he's coming from: I'd be tired of me if I was constantly whining or upset or emotional like I can get when I'm tired/stressed/whatever. But, now I'm even weary to tell him anything that could burden him or stress him out... like how I feel when he doesn't talk to me/communicate with me. I'm still trying to decipher what he thinks, how's the best I should adapt to the relationship as we're working through these problems..
It's just confusing; like that song by Adelle, his tables are always turning... Last Thursday night he had surprised me at my apartment with a Sonic drink, and was really sweet... Friday and Saturday we hung out and it was so nice. He had made me this CD of songs that explained his feelings for me, or what he thought about me, and it made me cry how sweet and romantic they were. And now he's acting like this, not wanting to talk to me at all really, hardly even seeming like he's TRYING to. :( It's just frustrating I guess. I find myself sitting around and wishing or wondering when he'll act like he did "this one time" or "that one time" when he's acting like this... I dunno'. Guh, it's all stupid.
Sorry for my blogs about Ethan stuff lately... It's my easiest way of talking to you all about it since we see each other so little now ;_; I miss you ladies! We need to have a girl's day.. .and I can't wait 'til Peter Pan! <3
Love you all!