Thursday, March 15, 2012

Zombieish -- literally!

Wow, so this week was heeckkkk. Mentally and even slightly physically.


I had SO MUCH due on Wednesday, not only in volume but in substance, that it was insane to get done. And I even did stuff over the weekend, but it left me to no choice: TWO all-nighters in a row! Not kidding. Within the past 72 hours, I've gotten maybe.. 6-7 hours of sleep? And that's mainly an accumulation of nap-like-things before classes. Not actually preparing for sleep and sleeping wise. Nope, I would go into the building to start on work BEFORE the sun even set, and I wouldn't really leave to go home until the sun was rising again.

It was redonkulous.

I wasn't alone though, thankfully; a lot of other designers were in the same boat, so we stuck it out together. It's kinda' cool cause we get this sense of survival and looking out for one another; so today when I made the stupid choice of trying to get a little wink of sleep in before deadline, and I proceeded to wake up five minutes before it was due instead, and I had to rush to get it ready, another designer was in the same boat. We ran into one another on the way to the design building and she was having a breakdown so we went together and turned stuff in and she wanted me to stay with her just in case she just broke down more. I like the sense of teaming up to help one another make it within our program; it teaches great trust skills and reliance, even in a competitive program. And even though a lot of people in the design department are vulgar, or sometimes rude, and can constantly be bitter or teasing you, I know that they'd have my back -- we're in it together.

But JEEEEZ. I've never felt so tired. I literally had hallucinations upon waking the few naps I had -- one hallucination was of a wasp being in my apartment and I swear I saw people looking in through my door discussing how to kill it while I was just paralyzed with fear. It was flying right next to my head, haha. Another hallucination was I had one of those mid-dream things where I felt like I was getting ready and was going to be on time -- but woke up ten minutes before my class, and my deadline. FREAKING OUT. Hahaha. Trying to get sleep was the worst idea, and I am learning from that -- if I've had an all nighter with the copious amounts of stress I've had, I cannot expect to lay down for "just a little bit" and wake up feeling somewhat better. NO, you wake up feeling even more tired and even angrier. I just need to keep myself busy until I can just crash and get tons and tons of sleep at a time.

Hibernate, recover, and move on.

I'm done though technically. I have work tonight so I'm forcing myself to stay awake right now during this down time. I'm going to take a scorching shower and it'll feel so good -- just hot water washing away stress and releasing tension in my muscles and getting me clean and ready to go... I'm so excited. And my bed will never feel better.

My goodness though, SPRING BREAK IS FINALY HERE. I have to work, but man, I'm going to spend it well and readily. I'm going to catch up on rest and relaxation. I wasn't given an assignment for the next project in one design class, and then another design class I only have a few things done. I can really just mentally unwind. I'm gonna' work on cosplays, draw, hardcore clean my room and apartment, maybe even go through stuff to sell for the garage sell, get back into working out and eating right (that was just shot this week), and just enjoying my time to myself. I can't wait to see you guys more too over the break >.< I need my fwiends! Lara will be gone traveling and what not, so I'll have the apartment to myself. I don't necessarily like being here alone, but, everyone needs their alone time. And I certainly do just to recuperate and what not.

The weather has been beautiful, it's Spring Break, I'm done with all this stress (no matter what the outcome), and I get to sleep soon. I have amazing friends and family, supportive peers and teachers, and am just blessed to be having this opportunity for an education and what not. I'm very blessed and grateful just in general...

I was negative a lot these past couple of days, and I'm working on that. Cheryl, I think that's a great idea to have accountability for negativity -- cause that can be just as detrimental as anything, and can set up being disappointed in tons of other things without the right mindset.

Sorry if this was so wordy and all over the place -- I can't really organize thoughts well, haha. So I'll just leave it here. I may be totally konked out for the next couple of days -- so if you don't hear from me readily, that's why, haha.

Love you guys! <3

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