Sometimes I wish I could throw my phone away, like, texting and stuff will be the ruin of me. I think that's half the problem sometimes; always expecting replies, for him to talk to me, and then nothing all day. -sigh- It causes miscommunication, misunderstanding, tons of stuff.
But even a call here or there would be nice. Just to know he's thinking of me.. if he is at all.
Emo-ness aside, I've had a pretty good week. The 4th was super fun and felt like a true summer hang out day. I got to the interview stage of two potential photography/graphic design jobs on campus that will be great for my portfolio/future careers... crap has been going down at VStock lately, and after what has happened recently (which is still shocking and upsetting me slightly) none of us really feel secure there with how our manager is handling things.. I would stay working there through college or my internship if I could, I love it to an extent, but now it's just ... been frustrating and tiresome.
I'm hesitant to go somewhere else though, because VStock is full of nerds and people like me. It's nice being able to go into work and not feel judged for who you are. At Pink Swirls I was surrounded by girls that didn't really know me and I had to be fake around to even talk to them, bleh. I hate how you almost have to be fake or walk on eggshells at a job to survive. It's just not my style. I want to speak up or try to fix things, but then I may lose my job. "It's not your place, Meghan"
I decided to ditch efforts to finish Yuffie for TnT. My Rinoa stuff isn't here but I guess it's shipped already, but I'm still worrying.. in the meantime, I'm gonna' hardcore work on Korra this weekend and finish up the last of the Rinoa stuff I can do. I want to get Korra pretty much done by the middle of next week -as much as I can.
I can't wait to work more on the dance; it'll be fun to see it all together :)
I'm just in a mellow, neutral mood right now I guess. I've been journaling a lot in a journal I keep with me. Anytime I feel upset or distressed, angry or confused I write in it. It helps straighten out my thoughts and keeps me from becoming a basket case over things I don't need to be a basket case over.
Honestly, a day spent running away in a field in the sun, or of laughter and dancing in the rain sounds like heaven to me now. I want to fall, exhausted, into the Earth and stare up at the stars, breathe in the moonlight. I want to sit outside and watch day turn to dusk turn to night without a worry on my mind...
Hopefully sometime soon.