This is my happy ending.

This show is ... beyond amazing. I'm such a sucker for fairytales, and this one couldn't have done it any better. Man. I love all the stories. All the characters. I've never been so sucked in.

So, I'm noticing I'm starting to get out of anime and manga. Not like, "omg, I hate it" or "ew", lol. More like I just haven't been motivated or inspired by it lately. I haven't really watched a lot of anime or read a lot of manga this year, now that I think about it. My style of art is changing as well; the main shows/fandoms I've been into aren't technically "anime".

It's kinda' hard for me to be considered an anime nerd then, or "otaku" anymore. I guess I'm just... a nerd. Haha. I love Legend of Korra and Avatar: The Last Airbender. The Avengers, Wonder Woman, comic books... my Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I'm getting into real-time shows, like Once Upon a Time, Big Bang Theory, Mad Men, New Girl, etc... Heck, I've been watching Disney and Pixar movies more than anime. Idk, I guess my interests are shifting and changing. I still will always adore anime; but, the only anime that intrigues me anymore is the dynamic plot/characters, animation/art, storyline, etc... Romeo x Juliet is the perfect example. Or the style of LOK or Avatar. It's hard to find that kind of fluidity and beautiful animation in most Japanese anime though. A lot of it seems simpler.

Am I making any sense? Hahaha.

I guess I'm just discovering my sources of inspiration lately, and it's really exciting.

Like today in class we turned in a poster project for a concert coming up; mine didn't make it but a lot of the other ones turned in were so amazing and beautiful, guh, hard to explain, but FANTASTIC work. Unique, cool, classy. I loved them! I felt so inspired and motivated, even though mine didn't do well (though, I guess half of it did: my teacher loved my type layout so much, she told another student to collaborate with me to use my type for her poster; so that was a plus!) Just other things too... I feel constantly motivated and inspired within graphic design.

I LOVE collecting and looking at unique design; I can get lost in a store for hours just looking at stuff. I'm falling in love with visual communication and new ways to express ideas visually. Someone today complimented me on work she saw I was doing (I was doing it during class lol >.< Personal Finance is a blow off class though) and it just made my day. It made me realize, "Hey, I'm going to be doing this kinda stuff and getting paid for it -- I like that!" Idk, I guess I just had an epiphany/realization moment.

Sure, I complain a lot and don't feel good enough, yaddah yaddah. But it's days like this that, with the right mindset, I just truly realize how excited I am. And how I want to push harder.

It's also making me so much more open minded -- how a beautiful design can be something that's crunched up, torn and shoved in a doorway. (Lol, long story)

When I start to feel down, I NEED to remind myself of all that's good and exciting about my future career -- and that needs to be my fuel and motivation.

In other news -- cosplay! Yeah, I need to get started >.< Who knows what I'll get done for Izumicon, BUT, the weekend will be fun regardless. I hope there's a lot of good artists :3 If anything, I'm going to make some business cards for my photography and just run around the con taking pictures and then passing out cards to cosplayers. That way I can spread my name out more. I haven't done a photoshoot for commission in a while, so I really need to get back into that. Any money I can scrape up and save anywhere will be helpful.

Lesse. What else...

Oh right! I calculated the 365 days project, I mean I kinda' blew it, but whatever. Lol. I've filled up one sketchbook, and then almost another. So far I have 136 "days" drawn, which leaves me off at May 16th XD I'm gonna' try to just keep sketching as much as I can a day or when I sit down to draw to try and get caught up. I know it's not drawing everyday, but, at least it's still drawing and drawing a lot when I do.

A couple hours after eating dinner I was super bored and just lazing around, I felt tempted to snack or eat again, or get a soda...

But, instead of doing that I:
- Painted my nails
- Did my work-out routine (mainly abs and then squats/legs)
- Picked up my room
- Did some drawing exercises
- Updated my design notebook with my various process work lying around

Tomorrow I have work, which means standing and walking around the store all day, and then I have class later on; that rarely gives me time to snack/boredom eat in between those, so that's good. My hardest time will be Thursday, Friday and Saturday 'caaaause I have no class or work. LOL. I need to be productive instead.

I feel so much better getting all THAT done instead of eating or snacking and feeling lazy though :P I'm not gonna' lie, I feel hungry right now, but I don't want to eat late anymore. I'm gonna' try to not eat past 7-8 PM. I've messed up a couple times this past week, but, I'm getting better. It's a slow process.

Also...

I CAN'T WAIT 'TIL MATTIE COMES BACCKKKK. AGGHH! So many things to look forward to. x3 I'm ready for just tons of fun time, it's been kind of dragging lately just doing school work and work-work with little time for friends. I'm stoked though, so much coming up.

Love you guys! :D And thanks for still reading my ramblings! haha