Thursday, June 23, 2011

For you only.

If I could sum today up in an illustration...

that feeling when you stretch really well after a warm nap and a productive, but very good day. Extending your arms and slowly pulling back your neck, you feel each sinewy muscle curling and yawning and then relaxing and sighing as you slump over onto a freshly napped on pillow. You just sigh a little, a groggy smile donning your lips. After tons of emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical stress of the past few weeks, just about feeling tired and upset in every way, this moment of simplicity and contentment is well desired and finally mine to hold.

The past few weeks since even before AKON, and after AKON especially, have been really hard. My heart hadn't been right with God, I was just constantly down on myself, I was holding idols above God, stressing out constantly, work was a lot of tiring manual labor or tedious tasks that went on forever, my relationships were struggling...

But now my heart is in the right place I think. After tons of tears, prayer and crying out to God, I'm turning to God more and focusing less on idols. I'm finally enjoying cosplay again and conventions because I'm NOT going to be down on myself, I'm just going to have fun and work hard. I'm prioritizing and getting chores done, not putting things off, working harder at work, trying to encourage more and be less negative. My relationship is finally on solid ground again, better than it's been in a long while. I'm figuring things out, growing more mature spiritually, mentally and emotionally and I'm going to fight hard to keep growing and keep at this pace all summer instead of giving into worldly desires and the Devil's enchantments.

Aah! It feels good to be able to finally say all of that

In other, less serious news... Things are going pretty well right now. With my last paycheck, I bought, like, $50 of stuff from Vintage Stock! Gah! So now I'm trying to be more frugal and save/spend less throughout the week 'til I get paid again. However, I did buy Pokemon Black for the DS finally and I LOVE IT! Wow, the graphics and gameplay have come sooooo, so far from Pokemon Yellow, haha! It is weird how far the generations of Pokemon have gone, but playing the games is really the only way I'm even into Pokemon anymore; nothing beats the original 150, however, I'm open-minded to the other games. Now that I have employee discounts, I may invest more into video games since I miss gaming so much. I kind of need to anyway, so I can be better at explaining/selling games at work.

I've been cleaning my room too; I'm tempted to just start tearing through stuff and selling it, donating it or just tossing it. Like, one of those fresh clean starts and clean outs that will be symbolic of everything going on in my life. I also need to reorganize decorations and stuff; add more shelves to my walls, take down some posters, change up the pictures in picture frames. It's kind of exciting and a project I look forward to, as nerdy as that sounds, haha.

I also need to start getting back into drawing.. I've been seriously not really doing it much, or practicing, or coloring much. *sigh* I miss it too and want to! So I'm going to make myself do that this summer, within these next couple of weeks just tear through my art book and finish things. Speaking of finishing things, there's anime and manga and books on my shelves that need finishing... I definitely shouldn't complain about having nothing to do this summer!

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