Undeniably beautiful.

Just amazing.

Visiting relatives!

So last night I got to see my uncle and aunt who live in Pennsylvania! They are so funny and sharp, that east coast like persona about them. I love them to death though, but I haven't seen them in years. It's hard when a lot of my family leaves in the east coast and we can't necessarily travel there every summer (work, school, etc...) So it's always great to see them when we can. Usually my dad's family tries to come down every now and then and visit, whether it's just an uncle or an aunt or both. I can't wait 'til we have a big family reunion one day though -- I miss everyone!

After that, I went by Ethan's and we watched some of his old family videos -- may I say, ADORABLE. Haha, he, his sisters and his cousins were SO YOUNG, it was adorable! Haha, I'm pretty close with his family now so it was really cool to see them all in those videos from back in the day. His parents and uncles and aunts were so young too! Haha, gotta' love the 90's fashion and hair, right? That was interesting to see. It was also really funny, cause anytime Ethan showed up, even though he was only seven, he still had a lot of his mannerisms he has now. Just little things I noticed XD We're gonna' watch some of my family videos next cause we had such a blast haha. I'm such a memory person, I love reminiscing!

Watching them made me want to invest in a camcorder though; so when we go to conventions or when I go places I can start doing video diaries or something. And why not?! Film is an area I haven't dabbled in too much, and heck, I dabble in everything else artsy fartsy wise, so this should be fun. I'm gonna' start saving up and hopefully get one in time for my summer adventures. :) I love photography, but sometimes catching moving film and recording moments is just as memorable if not more so <3 So beware! I'll be video recording now too, almost all the time when we're together on big adventures. XD

Someone's gotta' keep track right?

Well, I better head off -- Ethan and I are having our Valentine's Day date tonight <3 I'm waiting on his present to print off (the poster I designed) but the lab monitor is having difficulties cutting paper. She doesn't really look like she's a graphic design major, so I feel kinda' bad for her. Lol, I'm trying to have patience, but I really need to finish gathering the rest of his present >< Hopefully I'll have time.

I'll let you all know how tonight goes! I'm excited to see what he has planned outside of our normal V-Day tradition. :3 Lol!

"I hate how I don't hate you...

.. not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all." -- 10 Things I Hate About You

AMAZING MOVIE <3

And Valentine's Day was so lovely!

I had class in the morning, but it was just a review day for our test coming up on Thursday, so it wasn't too bad; we actually got out early! Before that though, when I came out of my room to get ready for the day, I noticed a cute little present sitting on the floor in front of my door. Lara got me cute, Valentine's day socks! I loved them! They're actually all singles, but about six in a pack, so they "match" by color, but not really match entirely. So it's fun to wear mismatching ones. C:

After class I got back and did some cleaning, laundry and baked some cookies that I was gonna' take into work. I got out to my car though, and the battery was dead :( Lara wasn't around, and there was rarely someone in the parking lot that wasn't already on a mission to go wherever they were going, so I called the police on campus. Thirty minutes later they made it finally, and after a bad jumper box replacement, it finally was running again! I was pretty late to work though, almost 45 minutes. But luckily they understood. And they liked the cookies I baked C: (even though they were slightly crispy...)

We were reeeeeeeally slow. Jasmine told me we'd be busy cause Valentine's Day is huge on retail or something like that; but that was definitely not true, lol. Not much to do, and only a handful of customers, nothing too hard to manage; luckily it went by fast though.

And Ethan came in and surprised me! <33






He brought me flowers and some chocolates. It was so sweet, I wasn't expecting it. "I just wanted to brighten up your day" he told me, cause of my car incident and then having to work on Valentine's Day. I hadn't expected anything because our date was gonna' be on Thursday, but it was still so nice of him to come by.

And then of course Mattie came by as well~! Which was such a lovely surprise <3 <3 "The Boulder is afflicted!" LOL




And then I got home and did some homework and watched 10 Things I Hate About You! Which may not SOUND like a good Valentine's Day movie, but oh, it is. It has my favorite kind of romance too; the "I loathe you but really love you" kind of stuff. Amazing chemistry, and of course: young Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Heath Ledger, two of my FAVORITE actors. Joseph is so tiny and his voice is so high; it's so funny to see him as Arthur in Inception, all serious and what not. It makes me want to re-watch 500 Days of Summer too since he's in it. And Zoey Deschanel! <3

Tomorrow I get to see my uncle and aunt who are in town from Pennsylvania! Aah! I'm so excited, I haven't seen them in forever. I'm skipping my evening class to do so, otherwise, they'd be leaving Thursday morning having only gotten here today, and I worked 'til 10 today and would've had class 'til 9 on Wednesday. But I'll just get notes from someone. It's worth it :3

Now, off to pass out and have sweet dreams 'til the rude awakening of morning.

Love you ladies! Ta!

We are all fools in love.

"It would be most inconvenient because I have sworn to loathe him for all eternity."

I LOVE THAT QUOTE.
I LOVE THIS STORY.
I LOVE JANE AUSTEN.

I blame her for my main romance ideology, lol. And totally sappy, hopeless romantic mindset. And just everything. I blame her for all things. XD

I don't really have much else to say, except how much I love this movie (I'm watching it right now; I watched Becoming Jane earlier :O), I'm done with my homework for the night, and I'm really craving soda.

I'm probably gonna' draw Lizzie and Darcy together later as a 365 days project. I need to finish Ethan's V-Day present too. I hope he likes it >.< It's a couple drawings, and then a poster I designed with photos of us. Like a collage. And a nifty quote.
Heck, I'll just post that on here I guess. Why not.

I can't wait for so many things; Arietty, the book fair, spring, summer, conventions, friend times, warmer weather, shorts, summer dresses. I can't wait for blooming flowers, and time to laze about in the warmth of the sun. <3 I sometimes wish I could live in Pride and Prejudice times, where they had such beautiful, yawning fields of green, rolling mountains and hills, and lovely lakes and estates to walk around. I want visit a country like Ireland again, with such beautiful nature and raw beauty.

Here's to slowly escaping from winter and running into spring. :)

Snow!

I know it didn't end up being enough to cancel school or shut down the world or anything; but I still love seeing it! I can be a very traditional person sometimes, and if the winter doesn't have snow at least once, I don't feel like it's winter, haha. I don't mind cold weather if I can crunch through snow or see the glistening white blanket while I walk. I'm probably going to go take pictures later and meander around since I'll be done with class by six. <3

I've been doing well keeping up with homework and projects and stuff, and I like the feeling of it. Not feeling rushed or like I'm procrastinating; I found an amazing app on my computer for such, lol, called "iProcrastinate" and it's GREAT for project and deadline organizing. I love it! It's really made by procrastinators for procrastinators, lol.

So I think an AKON meeting is in need here soon, where we can have all proposed people going meet up at once, including the guys. It'd be a good idea to get a lot of logistics figured out; hotel, costs, etc, so we can start saving up and planning around the financial stuff. I'm pretty much considering all of May knocked out for me when it comes to getting ready and prepared, since I'll be traveling so much and with finals and stuff, so I'm trying to get things done ahead of time to save from stress. We should all figure out schedules and then see what works best for everyone to meet up and talk, even if it's just a short while :3 It doesn't need to be a big hang out thing or anything.

And I think Ethan is going to go -- he doesn't really WANT to, but he will go for us to not disappoint. He's a really selfless soul sometimes it's baffling. I mean, he doesn't want to let us down, even if he's not really wanting to go himself. It's really nice of him; and I can't really keep arguing like "Oh, well you don't have to..." because he knows how much we all want him there. So I'm just talking to him like he's going, lol. And considering him in all the plans. Even if I need to pay for his pass or whatever, I'll do it.

He really likes the idea of a stress-free convention. Where we can relax in the hotel more (movies, swimming, etc) and not be at the con 24/7. Where we don't feel constantly scheduled or rigorous; where we can see things without rushing, etc. And I like that idea too; last year felt so high-paced and stressful O.O And with easier cosplays this go around, and just more preparation, will have a really good year I believe. :)

I think I decided on a cosplay line-up for AKON though. I will be cosplaying, just nothing big:
- Advent Children Yuffie
- Ramona from Scott Pilgrim vs the World
- And possibly nothing else/just casual wear.

Other cosplays I had in mind that were already on my cosplay list (casual/comfy/easy):
- Yukiko from Persona 4


All I need for her is a long black, straight wig, and then just find/buy the clothes and modify them slightly.

Or Makoto from the Girl Who Leapt Through Time:



I doubt I will cut my hair by then; but if not, I'd either wear my Yuffie wig or find a cheap, short brown wig to wear.

I just love cosplaying x.x; Even if it's simpler cosplays. It's so fun to just change for a day and dress up and take on a character and their story. And even if I'm recognized or not, just being in cosplay is a lot of fun!

Siiiiigh.

I really really hate drama. I hate being such an emotional person, who overreacts, and sort of gets carried away.
UHHH. Glad it's all resolved though -- and hopefully, for good now. Me and Ethan had a really good talk about things we need to improve in our relationship and it all had to deal with communication; how often and how well we communicate, and how we communicate love to one another based off the system of the "5 love languages", which is different for everyone, and rarely do two people who are together have the same language.

Like, his language is acts of service or thoughtful gifts (handmade things, written notes, surprises, etc..) show him love. Actions speak louder than words, that kinda' thing. My language of love is physical touch -- holding my hand, rubbing my back, arm over the shoulder, etc, makes me feel loved and special. If you don;t know how to communicate that language of love to them, then you can't appropriately show love; and when you've been in a relationship a long time, and can't rely on the new found "tingles" anymore to show love and feelings, it can all be confusing. Apparently it's natural though; even married couples go through it. It's a job, it's work, and we just both got lazy for a while.

We're back on the right track now though. We're kinda' taking some time and distance away from one another though, not hanging out as much, he kinda' needs his space. The past two weekends we hung out everyday almost all day, so he lost a lot of "his time". Cause throughout the week he has work and what not.

JUST GLAD to have that over with. Whew. I hate emotions and drama.

But I do love getting out of school... So, I really hope we get some good ice/snow, cause I wanna' be snowed in! Yes! It makes me draw or read or do things I need to get done since I can't go out anywhere anyway. I do need to get some homework done though just in case we have class; so I'm not THAT person, haha.

I'm making progress on cosplays, slowly... I really want to get some money saved up though and just go at it. As well as save money for summer stuff.. I'm considering a second job. Or just putting my photography/design stuff out there a lot more. I need to get tons saved up for everything >.< New York, Florida, conventions... I may be going to Red River too with Ethan and his family. GAH. So much. I'm excited though, cause I LOVE traveling, and I haven't done it in forever.

I better get off and get to homework. Sorry for the emoness lately, but you guys are so amazing for always being there for me. <3 I have the BEST friends, I'm not even joking.

LOVE!

I'm such an idiot

I just wish I could keep my mouth shut sometimes
silence may say even more than what ends up blurting out
ugh

I just wish he'd talk to me, and open up to me more..

and now, Ethan thinks he's depressed... he thinks that's the reason why he can't seem to find passion or happiness anymore
he's stuck in this mindnumbing routine of work, eating and sleeping, with small hobbies on the side
he doesn't know
he's drained of happiness or inspiration, that he used to find was endless

and I just feel like I've failed him if even I, his girlfriend, can't make him happy
I can't be the only thing, but really, I can't even make him happy anymore?
why is he still with me then. I'm kind of pointless to him
my heart just hurts right now, and I do not know what to do