Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I'm such an idiot

I just wish I could keep my mouth shut sometimes
silence may say even more than what ends up blurting out

I just wish he'd talk to me, and open up to me more..

and now, Ethan thinks he's depressed... he thinks that's the reason why he can't seem to find passion or happiness anymore
he's stuck in this mindnumbing routine of work, eating and sleeping, with small hobbies on the side
he doesn't know
he's drained of happiness or inspiration, that he used to find was endless

and I just feel like I've failed him if even I, his girlfriend, can't make him happy
I can't be the only thing, but really, I can't even make him happy anymore?
why is he still with me then. I'm kind of pointless to him
my heart just hurts right now, and I do not know what to do


Cheryl said...

Awwww sweetie... I'm sorry.. :( I think you two really need to talk about this. I really think you need to tell him everything your feeling, even if you've told him before. He needs to know how your feeling, he's your b/f and he should be being there for you. :( I'm just really worried about you... I don't feel like things have ever been fully good between you and Ethan for quite a while now. And it makes me sad to see you are hurting so much. :(

Meghan said...

Yeah, he says none of his lack of passion has anything to do with me; he thinks it's everything else in his life making him feel like that, and I guess in the end, that will just also affect our relationship. We talked a little bit more about it, but we're going to "talk in person", but idk, that never seems to happen.

It's like he gets scared to talk about stuff like that or doesn't want to, cause he sure never brings it up ._. Then it makes things tense between us for a while. I hate always being the one to bring it up too. I guess it feels easier to sweep things under the rug when we're together so we can just have fun and relax and see one another since we really don't get to that often. IDK, we'll see

I love you girly! I'm sure things are fine. *hugs*