Friday, January 13, 2012

Four day weekend!

Pretty much!

I don't have classes on Fridays and we have this Monday off. /score!!

I also only work Sunday (all day though :P) but I'm pretty sure I have Monday off, and then I have Friday and Saturday off too, AND had yesterday off with only one class. So far, this semester has been really really nice and seemingly easy so I hope the rest of it goes that way too. How last semester was, I NEED a semester with a little breathing room, time for myself, sleep, and sanity, haha.

So the Daniel Fast is going really well for me! I do have to confess though I cheated or broke the fast a couple times this week :(
I already prayed about it and fought through any more temptations, but it was mainly I drank soda instead of water. One of the reasons was cause at work our vending machine with fresh, clean bottled water was literally out of bottled water so all we had was warm water to drink and I had drank all the water I had brought with me. I really didn't want to drink lukewarm water that we had sitting in the back office, so, I caved and got a Sprite since it was cold. The rest of my meal didn't break the fast at all though.

The second time was just plain caving into temptation I guess. I was starving and had class back to back so I went to the vending machines. I got those Lays Classic chips, and was happy to realize I COULD actually eat those. But, I ended up caving AGAIN and got a Sprite instead of water. I was really disappointed in myself and you know what, it honestly didn't taste any better than water would have. I haven't really MISSED soda that much, I guess it was an instinctual, just selfish sort of desire I acted upon that I didn't need to. But, those are the only times I've broken the fast, save for the couple pieces of turkey protein I had to eat after I got out of the hospital cause my doctor wanted me to and I was feeling insanely weak. He still wanted me to balance out the fast more with lean meat, but I honestly want to fight this thing all the way through and do it as accurately as possible.

And the only other time so far has been when I had to end up getting something to eat in the Nigh University Center cause I didn't have time to go back to my apartment to make myself something before class, also because I was busy working on stuff for design. I had gotten up late that morning too so I hadn't had anything in me, literally, and if I didn't run and get something, I'd be sinking all day. I ended up eating a little more meat by getting a sandwhich, but I didn't add any cheese or dressing to it, and only got wheat bread. I paired it with an apple and some water and that nourished me plenty enough. Still though, I felt guilty :/ Like I should've packed a lunch or just arranged my schedule better to make time. It's hard maintaining the fast through a constantly going, student lifestyle on campus. I'm fighting it all though. ><

I just wanted to confess those though since I felt really bad about them. :(

But I HAVE been fighting insane amounts of tempting food here at the apartment, gaah, lol. Twice this week Lara has baked fresh, yummy smelling cookies, their smell wafting all through our apartment. I woke up to that smell this morning and was sort of tortured for a little bit, hahahaha. The other time it happened, I had walked home Wednesday night in the blizzardy weather and came inside to the warm apartment. She greeted me saying "Have some warm cookies, or I can make you some hot chocolate--!" and THEN she remembered I couldn't have any of it. So tempting too cause they sounded so warm and comforting. Bahaha. I had to sink in the chair farthest away from the kitchen to keep myself from eating any cookies (she makes them soooo well too ;-;) I just made myself a bowl of hot spaghetti instead, haha. I was fine after a while though :)

I also have Sprite and soda still in my fridge from last semester that I force myself to not even look at. Walking through the Nigh University Center is sooo hard cause of all the yummy food smells wafting my way. Chik-Fil-A, Quizno's, Pizza, Chinese... gah! And multiple times Lara has invited me to go to Ted's or Buffalo Wild Wings with her for her birthday celebration stuff, before she knew I was on the diet. That was so hard! Mmm, Ted's is so yummy, my favorite Mexican food restaurant; and Buffalo Wild Wings is just delicious meat with delicious sauce and aaagggh --

I'm torturing myself writing this! /facepalm

BUT! All of this is definitely teaching me willpower and self-control. And just focusing on God's will little by little, knowing He WILL sustain me and provide for me just the amount of food I need. It used to be all about fulfilling cravings I wanted instead of just nourishing myself enough to be full and healthy. I think even after the fast I'll keep up some of the healthy guidelines it's teaching me :)

Right now a project I'm working on is cleaning out and organizing my room! I'm so excited for this. I threw out a bunch of junk from last semester, and am going through my clothes to figure out what I want to donate or sell. Room for new clothes, baby! ;D Hahaha, whenever I get the money or time for that nonsense...

I'm also hanging some more decorations I never got around to for last year, and then am going to make it even more of a cozy layout with some hanging mood lighting and some tulle/curtains over my bed to create a canopy. :D Or just buy a canopy that completely covers my bed, aah that'd be so amazing. <3 Possibly get some new bedding too so I don't just have black sheets, but we'll see about that. I also got a surge protector so I can hook up all my mood lighting and have those constantly plugged in and running instead of using the awful fluorescents that drain my soul. :P I'll probably get some more organizational things for my desk, and I'm thinking of even treating my bathroom a little bit to give it some more personality. I really just want my room and apartment to be a little sanctuary/retreat I can collapse into after a long day of homework or work. <3

So now today is just some cleaning and organizing in my room and then the movie later! Super stoked to see my favorite disney movie in theaters in 3D with my favorite ladies! Aah! <3

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

Im so proud of you meghan! Sounds like things are going pretty good this semeste too. Im glad. you deserve a break from last semester, goodness! And thats so fun about decorating and organizing your room. :D I want to do that to my room too. Like have a serious cleaning/going through clothes day! >:D and meghan! Dont feel bad... I've broken the fast several times too!! just because I was selfish and wanted to eat something yummy... :( its so hard! >< so i know how you feel. >< Ive eaten a little sandwhich roll, some animal crackers, some fruitloops, and Ive had some bread which Im pretty sure had yeast in it. >< We are almost done though! we can do it!! :D