On someone's status today, they were quoting some Disney song. But then one of their friends made a really crude, perverted comment about it. And something instead of me just ticked.
I commented on it saying "Way to make something totally innocent, stupid". I'm sure I should've just ignored it and passed on, but I am SO TIRED of seeing and hearing such vulgar stuff day in and day out. Through school, through work. I just got really furious. It's like I can't avoid seeing it anyway, so it's so hard to ignore -- I just wanted to say something so I did.
But then this genius, catty girl was doing the whole "OMG, that was so rude, uhh, (insert name here) since when was your name "Meghan"? This is YOUR page not hers, lololol, she could've just ignored it" or something along those lines. I preceded to stand up for myself and address her calling me out like she did, and also mentioning she didn't have to say something like that and post it on his status either so she was contradicting herself. She preceded to tell me that I have a "stick up my butt" and that I need to "freaking shut up" and was cussing and stuff (so exchange most of those words for curse words). When I commented back saying I had not once cursed towards her, and how she was acting classless and tacky, the guy who posted the status originally messaged me saying it should have stopped way back, and that I was the one that started it.
I'm just annoyed right now. I know, I shouldn't have said anything. But as I mentioned earlier, I am tired of seeing that crap. The right thing to do would've been turn my cheek or ignore it. But didn't Jesus flip tables and get angry and make a statement towards those using His temple for sin and greed? In the Bible it says we can get angry, just not enraged. I guess since it wasn't something along the lines of what Jesus saw, it wasn't as bad, but sometimes, I'm tired of being some push over who never says anything.
I'm tired of being someone who is always stepped on, too. In class, and at work, a lot of my "friends" tease me and make me feel stupid. Like I don't know anything or everything I say is invalid. They make some huge deal if I haven't seen some movie or read some book that they have and apparently "everyone" else has too. They try to attack me based on my beliefs or that I'm "naive" or whatever. They even joke that I'm going to get kidnapped or raped because I'm so "clueless", I am not even kidding you.
Ugh, I really just want to get away from everything.. I'm always alone at the apartment anyway it seems. I want to see Ethan, to be held by him, to laugh with him and be taken away for a while in his inspiration and encouragement; or I want to see you girls and laugh and be with people that love me for how I am instead of constantly trying to change me; who don't tease me all the time or make me feel inferior. I just fall asleep in warmth, stay asleep forever. I'm starting to get hit with the tiredness of school it seems and just laziness of not wanting to do anything as well I really need to get myself out of it...
Well from now on, I know for sure, I'm done with it. I am done being the push over, the clueless girl, naive, whatever, to them. If they say something I don't like, I won't react to give them the satisfaction. I'm going to be cool and collected, and show them that I'm not someone to be walked on. I'm going to stand up for what I believe and think, and not be so passive anymore.
This is the start of a new me.